Category: the Rant Board
So, the other day, I was on a mobility lesson. I was in a somewhat busy city, where there is heavy traffic and lots of people, but nothing I haven't done before. I was on the way back to my instructor's car, and I was crossing over a street I had already crossed earlier that day, so I wasn't even nervous about it. I hesitated a few minutes to observe the traffic so I could figure out a good time to cross. A man walked by and asked if I wanted help, but I just told him no thanks, and he continued on his way. Then, I heard a car turn on to the street I was waiting to cross. There were some jets flying overhead, so it made it a little hard to focus completely on the street, but I heard a car door, and then a voice yelling from across the street: "Ma'am, you're in the middle of an intersection, you need to get back in your car!" It turned out the yelling woman was my mobility instrudctor, and she came rushing over to me, and the woman coming out of the car asked, "Oh, are you going to help her?" My teacher calmly told her we were on a lesson and that I knew what to do, and the woman preceded to yell at us about safety and how I would end up dead because my teacher was teaching me in such an awful area. Eventually, she went back to her car, but kept yelling through her window at us, so I said something like, "Excuse me, can you stop?" I was humiliated and angry, and my teacher just pat me on the shoulder and told me not to say anything more. Cars were backed up behind this woman beeping, so not too long after she went away, and we left. My teacher was offended as well for having been questioned on her job and the safety of her student. She sent me an email later that evening saying maybe I should write a letter to the editor of the newspaper about it, just discussing my feelings and such. Looking back, I am able to laugh about it now, but at the time I was completely floored, but I don't quite know how to put it into good words if it were to go in a newspaper. If you have any suggestions about this, let me know guys.
Thanks,
Sarah
I think that many of us have experiences similar to this, overhelpful members of the public are common, and unfortunately, they tend to be the ignorant ones. However from what you have said, I don't think it's worth pursuing further, I'd perhaps just put it down to experience, and as you've said, laugh about it. I remember walking towards a bus stop, when a huge guy rushed up to me, and started...well, crush hugging me, for want of a better description. He tucked my head under his arm, and said, "there's a dustbin there, where are you going? the bus stop?" And without waiting for a response, he began to pull me in the direction i was already going. On getting to the bus stop, he cannoned my head off the top of the bus stop. There was absolutely no need for it at all. I didn't need help, i was just walking with my cane. And his intentions were only to help, but he just hugged me, and then nearly knocked me out on the bus stop.and if i hadn't been laughing so hard, i'd probably have punched him. lol.
But it's just one of those things, in my view.
holy crap he actually did that? Lol!
I don't know if writing a letter to the editor would be of much help in this case. As someone who has both taught and had my lessns screwed up by the public, and as a blind traveller who has been screwed up by the public, it just happens. If I understand you correctly, you said that the woman driving was just sitting in the intersection blocking traffic. It doesn't sound like she was worth paying much attention to anyway.
Lou
i've had wierd public experiences, one was with a couple of drunks with a harmonica, twas fucking funny. they drunkenly yelled play him a tune!" keeping step with me. the thing was, they were quite good on their instruments, but pissed as parrots! fortunately, in the city i was in, the cab drivers knew me, as I went to the local college and used the cabs a lot, so one leapt from his car and said, hi, i'm xxx, and I knew xxx, from xz company, so I got in his cab and we kinda fled the scene. twas bloody funny, and thanks to observant cabbies. hehehehe
Lol I had an incident at an o and m lesson with a drunk, but it was kind of funny because the person wanted to offer me a beer. He said "just because she's blind doesn't mean nothing." and "ledder have it you dont let her have any fun", and all that...it was kind of funny! The instructer kept telling him "ok, have a nice day", and he was still insisting I thought she'd never be able to get rid of him! Lol! So yeah, know what you mean about the drunks!
Lol, great stories guys. Omg all of them were hilarious. Well yes of course I've had weird experiences too. A woman came up to me and kept touching my hair and saying how beautiful I was and all this nonsense, but the point my mobility teacher was making by writing the editor was just that she wanted people to understand how it feels when people do those things. Yes it's good intentions, but to the blind person, it might not feel so good. lol. By making it public that might be slightly lessening the amount of ignorance. But it won't solve all my problems certainly. I don't know if I'll do it or not. I'll probably talk more to my parents about it. But thanks for the stories. :)
Yeah, I don't know if it needs to go on the newspaper, unless you do it as a funny editorial. These instances, fortunately or unfortunately, are pretty common if you're a blind person that travels often. I had one experience, where I was crossing a very busy, off-centered intersection, with another blind friend of mine. We were nearing, with a little difficulty, the other side of the wide avenue, when a car tried to make a right turn in front of us, nearly hitting us. He slammed on his breaks, and started yelling at us, about how he was going to kick our fucking ass if he sees us pretending to be blind again. So we got in to a shouting match at the corner, until he finally sped off.
On a somewhat freakier experience, I was on my way to a friend's house, so I was waiting for a bus at a transit center. So this older lady, about 50, walks up to me, and asks me if I need help. I tell her no, but she sticks around, and we make small talk. all of a sudden, she puts her arm around me, and starts telling me how she'd love to take me home and fuck my brains out, and starts squeezing my ass, and feeling me up, lol. luckily, the bus came right after that and saved me, but I was the crazy guy laughing by myself on the bus after that one.
Omg Daniel, lmao, that second experience is so fucking creepy, and the first one just made me laugh wicked hard. I think if I did anything, I would probably present it as if I were sighted, then kinda be like, this is something that happened to me, and I'm blind, blah blah blah, lol. I dunno though.
Oh, and, just realized I should clear up that question Lou had. No, she got out, came over to us, started yelling, then when she realized my teacher wasn't going to let her help me or whatever, got back in her car, cotinued yelling, and finally drove away. So she did get out. lol
Oops, continued.
I'm inclined to agree with Cam on this one Sarah, it's just one of those things you put down to experience. Unfortunately there are others out there who haven't met a blind person, have no idea what we're capable of and so go on their own prejudices. Martin, thanks for the heads up with your area, lol. Cam, that's just plain scary lol. Daniel, if she'd been younger I'd probably move nextdoor to you, grin. As for me I've had similar experiences myself, as others have said we all have, but none that stick out. You just smile, move on and forget about them after a while.
Expanding a little on the las post concerning smiling, there are times when hindsight provides some of the best intertainment available with or without a price.
Lou
I think the funniest experience I've heard happened to a friend of mine. He was just standing at the bus stop, on his way to work, drinking his coffee. At one point, he'd been holding the cup in front of him, but wasn't drinking. all of a sudden this dude walks by and is like, "Here's some money for your cup, man, go buy yourself some food with it," and just drops a couple dollars into his coffee without even looking to see that something was in there. The funny thing is, my friend worked at the state agency for the blind, so he was earning a nice paycheck just fine.
Wow, thanks for the laugh, everyone!
Sarah, I know your experience was frustrating, but I have to agree with everyone else... if every blind person wrote a letter to the editor after every encounter with an ignorant person, that's all you'd ever see in the papers. lmao
I've had plenty of interesting experiences traveling by myself, but the only memorable one from a mobility lesson occurred when a guy stopped me and my teacher to ask us if we knew Jesus. I was technically Christian at the time, but my teacher was Jewish. so yeh... awkward. lol
Becky
Once when I was going to public school and walking to the bus stop, some guy came up to me and claimed that he could pray for my eyesight to be restored. I humoured him, and of course, nothing happened... and this was three or four years ago.
I've also had people grab the end of my cane to lead me somewhere, and had to take it back and actually point out to them that my cane was not for leading me around like a dog on a leash. I've also had several people randomly come up to me and offer me money, and what's worse, the reason I have my professional yamaha digital grand piano is because my old piano teacher, upon finding out that I didn't have a decent piano, put out an add in the local newspaper about this poor blind girl who needed a good piano for performances. Interestingly enough I've never used this exact piano in a performance. But, it was a 1500 dollar piano, and every penny of it was donated.
I think we're all femiliar with people assuming that just because we're blind, we are also entirely deaf, incapable of walking and such, and therefore trying to drag us along while asking the person next to us where we want to go, and so on. That, I assure you, has happened to me as well. I honestly think that the funniest part of this is that people honestly believe this. People, I guess, just don't use common sense. I actually asked someone once why they were talking to the person next to me and asking them what my name was, and they said, in their infinite wisdom, "uh, cuz you're blind?" And when i asked them what gave them the idea that I was deaf as well, they were silent for about 10 seconds, and finally said, "I don't know, sorry..."
I honestly can't understand that, but maybe that's just because I tend to think differently than a lot of people I know.
Hey guys, thanks so much for the posts and stories. I know it's silly to continually write an editor about all these experiences, but well, I think I have a different opinion than you guys do, but thanks. I think though that sighted people want to hear what we have to say. It's a tad bit less ignorance or something. I dunno.
I actually think publishing such stories in a standard newspaper might be interesting. I wonder how people would react. Would they learn something from the stories, or would they get offended and defensive and take the sighted person's side? So much about the whole topic of being a helper and good intentions seems to be such a volatile thing for people who think the most important thing is meaning well and not actually paying attention to what a person really needs. I've heard so many stories of people who so desire to be helpful and have the best of intentions, and yet, when a blind person even politely refuses them or tries to educate the person or tell them they're not doing things right, the helper gets very offended or tells the blind person they are just ungrateful. To me, such folks seem a little proud and self-important for my taste, because I guess they think we're supposed to be grateful for help we never needed or asked for. It all seems to boil down to good intentions and the feelings of the helper.
Sarah, I'd support your desire to write to the newspaper. I doubt that if every blind person wrote to the paper that the paper would fill up with stories, but as god-zilla said, it would be interesting to see the reactions of the public. Do-gooders often mean well, but in my experience, it has more to do with their own feelings than it has to do with your needs. Because while many people mean well, meaning well alone simply isn't good enough a lot of the time, you know? and the ignorance surrounding blindness is rampent; I'm sure we're all familiar with being out in public with sighted friends/family members when random members of the public start asking our guides if we're blind, what we can see, if we were "born that way" etc.
So, I'd encourage you to write to the paper. That kind of experience is definitely humiliating and unnecessary.
Hmmm... maybe you're right. Better Sarah than I, though, because I think I'd be hard-pressed not to say something like, "Seriously, people, use your friggin' common sense." I personally prefer to change what few minds will be changed with my actions rather than with words.
Becky
My guess is, and this is just a crackpot theory since I don't read minds, but I think most sighted folk who have never met a blind person are so occupied trying to imagine what it's like to be blind as an atempt to identify with you that common sense goes on vacation.
I would strongly advise against going to the newspapers. The media always has a crazy way of turning any story about those of us who are blind or visually impaired into some jacked up inspirational story. I think that we should all get together and form some kind of website to go and read and write all our experiences. I have hundreds of these crazy stories and they will never end. I started a blog to educate people about those of us who are blind or visual impaired so I could have a good reason to complain. I love it when people at church come up to me so sure they can heal me and restore my sight. My pastor will always say hello to me and then wait and say hello to whoever I’m with because people tend to ignore me and talk to the person I’m with. I think it’s hilarious when they get offended. This is the blog if you are interested.
Ladyindigo217-leadwithfaith.blogspot.com
peace
Hugs Sarah. A tough and humiliating situation for sure!
Awww Darren, thanks. lol. I think I will write about it to the editor. I sort of wish I could do it anonymously, but that's most likely not going to happen. I just think it might be nice for a sighted person to see my point of view as a blind person. Thanks for the help guys. And Godzilla, I agree completely. That's why I wanted to write it. Kind of give a sighted person my side of it, in as least offensive as a way as possible so as not to anger anyone because no one would listen to me if they find me rude. Hahaha.
so many story's,
One day I was walking down the street and this one guy grabs me by my shoulders and starts talking about how I will see someday and stuff like that. After a couple of of seconds he lets me go and starts walking away! So weird.
This one other time I was sitting on the bus and this guy that was sitting next to me puts his hand in my pocket. After I got off the bus I checked it and I find money.
Why do some people think that blind people don't have any money?
Omg lol Jesus! Lucky, I never get money!
Many blind people live on fixed incomes, so it is the goodwill that makes people give you that dollar. I say except these gifts not out of ranker, but because hey now you've got beer money, or coffee money, or whatever. Lol. Like the piano that's great! Blind people are sort of like movie stars. If one is rude to a person trying their best to help, be a good person, or do their good deed for the minute, then we all get the blame, then when a blind person really needs help it's hard to find. As long as the helper is not harmful, then we as a comunity must smile and relax and enjoy the laugh. I've laugh so hard reading some of these post, because I've been there many times. Lol. The most funnest to me is when I'm trying to cross a street one way and I get taken right back to the curve I've just left. Lol. Makes me laugh every time. Bring on the money! Lol.
Omg, hahaha, nice nice. That's genuinely hilarious.
And hell, money? I'd just take it with a grain of salt, knowing the person meant well. *smile* Besides, I have a huge endeavor i need to fund, meaning $26000 for the training to tune pianos ... That's another story, so never mind. lol